Dark Knight = Awesome.


Go see it.

Up until the end of May, my diagram was the opposite of this one (for the latter definition, of course). Sigh.

I just heard back from Santa Ana College and the biology department said my Plants & Society class will suffice for a biology with a lab class. So YAY! I have my Associate of Arts Degree! I am very very very happy about this. This is a good sign, I really hope things keep turning around.

Saw Hancock today. It was good, definitely a movie I'd watch more than once. Made me miss California a lot though.

And despite how much I despise a lot of the people who work and live in the "entertainment district" in Cali, aka actors, producers, etc., when I watch the end credits of a movie I get a pang of inspiration to strive to be famous. I don't really know why, because I've never really longed to be an actress, and I think I'd rather be famous for writing a book than being in a movie anyway. Regardless, I'm going to try to channel the feelings I got during the end credits and try to use that as motivation to lose weight and get in shape.

Things are still pretty sucky in about, oh, 9/10ths of my life right now. Also, "9/10ths" seems to be my current overused phrase/word/thing.

Hopefully this weekend will be the start of something better. I am dogsitting for my aunt, aka I get to stay at her house for the weekend. And her house is freaking AWESOME. So I'm planning a night o' fun with the larper tomorrow night. I told him to decide whether he wants to eat in or eat out (giggity), and to bring a movie and his beverage of choice. When he comes over we'll take the dog for a walk together and then maybe play some foozball and darts in the basement. One of these days I guess I'll have to write that post about who exactly the larper is.

Saturday I'm hoping to invite a few people over to my aunts for a small hangout party. I don't know if it'll happen or not yet, but I think it'd be nice.

Sigh. I have decided the best description for how I've been feeling lately is "ambivalent".

Lyrics:

whats a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy,
and an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? an ironic way to die
and whats domain, domain, range (xxy) a kid with too much in his pants
and two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de france.

split a decision with long division,
take the circumference of your circumcision
live like your data and when you're all "set"
put it all together and whatever you get.

is new math...

whats a bag of chips divided by five, thats a nike worker's meal
and santa clause mutliplied by "i" well i guess that makes him real,
and the square root of the NBA is Africa in a box,
how do u trace a scatter plot? give the pencil to michael j fox.

take the approximate moral proportion of the probable problem of a pro-life abortion
live like your data, and when youre all "set"
put it all together and whatever you get...

is new math.

and if you made a factor tree of the factors that caused my girl to leave me youd have a tree...
full of asian porn.
C-A-L-C-U-LATOR (see you later) mathetmatical minds make industrial smog.
and whats the opposite of lnx, duraflame the unnatural log.

support the farmers with a pro-tractor,
link kennedy and lincoln with a common factor (fact, or)
live like ur data...blah blah

word problems

if theres a fat guy in a pastry shop with a twenty dollar bill and he's ready to buy,
in order to predict his volume change you need to know the value of pi (pie)
and theres a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her,
how long til it reaches adn kills the driver, provided that he's a good conductor,
and if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his freetime and mealtime while on his knees
and if kim is half as old as bobby who is two years older then twelve year old tori,
for how many more 30 day months will their threesomes be considered statutory rape

cause havin sex is like quadratic expansion if it cant be split then its time to stop,
and havin sex is like doing fractions, its improper for the larger one to be on top,
and havin sex is like math homework, i do it best when i'm alone in my bed.
and squarin numbers are just like women, if theyre under thirteen just do them in your head....


and new math

A little thing I like about living in a small town again:

Waking up at 9:41am (without an alarm clock!) and still being able to get ready and get to work by 10am.

I slept really well last night, surprisingly. I think it was because I actually had calmed down a bit after my emo breakout. I talked with Em and the larper for a sum total of about, oh, two hours of phone time (yeah, the cell phone has a bad case of the deadsies right now until I get out to the car to plug it in). I also soaked in the hot tub/pool last night for a good hour and a half. Started watching Gladiator back up in the room and barely got 10 minutes in before I crashed. Yesterday was LLLLOOOONNNNGGG, and apparently, I was really tired. Normally it's really hard for me to fall asleep before others in the room fall asleep - not the case last night. It was good though, I feel a bit more refreshed and a little less emo today.

I need to think about all the good things in Winona right now. My mind only wants to think of all the the things I'm leaving behind and all the bad parts of moving/moving back/traveling with grandparents. And that really isn't helping my emotional state.

It's sad to say, but I wish the drunkard wasn't in BFE so we could have our regular dorky phone conversations and I'd have some level of normalcy in my life right now.

To Do:
Look into Hotel Rooms:
- Thursday (or stay with Ken & Margo?)
- Friday (near LAX)
Pay Warranty Bill
Call on/pay Hospital Bill
Organize & Pack
- Stuff to Bring
- Stuff to Leave
- Stuff to Sell
- Stuff needed for car ride
History Reading & Quizzes
Post Office
History Exam (Testing Center)
Cancel Bally's (Friday?)
CHANGE ADDRESS (Friday)
Find Leo's paperwork
Drop off Leo at cat clinic for boarding (Thursday after 4 but before 6)
Call Mike & Chris
Pack my Xterra (Thurs & Fri)
Pick up Grandparents at airport (Friday)


</california>

I found out through the grapevine yesterday that the gamer (aka my first boyfriend) is getting married sometime soon, possibly this weekend. I laughed when I first heard it. And then I couldn't sleep last night. All I could think was, "That should have been me."

There were numerous reasons why I moved out to California two years ago. One of them was a stupid reason. I thought that getting away from the drunkard would make him realize that he likes me. That was a failure. I also moved because I got a job working for a gaming company and I felt like I would finally be doing something with my life that I actually really wanted to do. But the major reason I even THOUGHT about moving away was because of my family, and how they control my life.

They even controlled my moving out here, basically forcing me to find and take the Fastenal job out here (they threatened to not let me take my vehicle, which was still "half theirs", giving me no means of transportation to get myself out here) instead of my dream job. I think that was probably my biggest mistake of all. None of the shit that happened in the last two years, losing jobs, layoffs, etc. would have happened if I took the original job. That company is STILL growing to this day. In fact, I just drove by their "new" headquarters out here the other day and it is at least 5 times the size it was 2.5 years ago.

And now here I am, essentially forced to move back home for financial reasons, and my family is all up in my life again trying to control everything. They give me ultimatums, forcing me to comply if I want their help. And at this point, I just don't want their help anymore. I'm sick of all the bullshit.

At least while I'm out here, I'm able to deal with my family on my terms. Phone calls and conversations can be ended with the click of a button - or I can just not answer the phone if I don't want to talk at that time. I don't have any "obligations" to them while I'm out here. I don't "rely" on them for anything. Granted, I do appreciate my Grandparents offering to help me out, but if it comes with rules and conditions, and years of guilt trips - is it really worth it?

I've already sacrificed many things for this trip back in order to appease my family. Things that I really didn't want to sacrifice. Things that I love. MANY things. All to "let" them help me out. But the more that I sacrifice, the more it hurts, and the more I feel like this is the wrong decision. Which really sucks, given that I was so excited about coming home last week. They crushed that feeling, and are crushing me even more with all the conditions they are piling on me.


It's my fucking life, and for better or worse, when will you accept that I'M the one who has to live it?

To Do:
Look into Hotel Rooms:
- Monday
Make Reservations at Cat Clinic (Fri and Sat nights)
- Thursday (w/cat, red roof)
- Friday (near LAX)
- Make reservations if possible
Finish Sentence Combining
Work on Grammar Exercises
Finish Reading Book for English
Call on Trailers, set up times to see them (next week)
Make flyers for garage sale
Pay Warranty Bill
Call on/pay Hospital Bill
Organize & Pack
- Stuff to Bring
- Stuff to Leave
- Stuff to Sell
History Reading & Quizzes (due on Tuesday)
Post Office (Tuesday)
Put up flyers for yard sale
English Final (Wednesday @ noon)
History Exam (Wednesday)
Cancel Bally's (Friday?)
CHANGE ADDRESS (Friday)
Drop off Leo at cat clinic for boarding (Friday)
Yard Sale (Thurs? & Fri)
Pack my Xterra (Thurs & Fri)
Pick up Grandparents at airport (Friday)


</california>

Today is the official decision day. I will be moving back to MN.

I was quite worried and discouraged about moving back home at first, but everything seems to be falling into place.

- My grandparents sent me money for new tires and a trailer for my stuff. They will be flying out here sometime next week and we will be "mini-vacationing" back home. I think the grand canyon and Colorado are on the list of places to stop at. If anyone has suggestions of places to take my grandparents around LA before we leave and/or places on the way to MN, let me know!

- My guard and I had a long discussion about this decision today, and we both feel that this will be very good for us, both individually and as a couple. We have plans to see each other in July - possibly going to Salt Lake City and Yellowstone for a week.

- I will be coming back to California from basically the beginning of August through Mid October for Big Bear Faire and Northern Faire. Then after that ends I'll be flying to Texas for the renaissance faire over there that lasts through Thanksgiving weekend. Then I think, tentatively speaking, my guard will be flying to Minnesota for Christmas.

All in all, I'm actually looking forward to the move now. Yay!

Twas the last weekend of Southern faire. Sad. It was a thousand degrees outside so the days were spent filling my tankard, bodice chiller, and neck wrap thing with ice. I attempted to take pictures on Sunday but failed miserably because I always forget I have a camera on me. DOH. I caught a merry wives show Saturday and boggards show on Sunday, and surprisingly did manage to video the "this is how you woo a girl properly" song. ;) I love going to watch the boggards and forcing my guard to sing to me. :P He likes it, and we compliment the song nicely with raunchy gestures. OH ALSO, it is EXTREMELY HILARIOUS to watch the ASL signer at the boggards show. Lets just say that the only sign language I now know would only come in useful if I were a prostitute.

I made faire favors, and ran out way sooner than I thought I would. Apparently I know WAY more than 25 people at faire, go figure. I need to plan ahead for Northern and just make a buttload of them ahead of time. YAY NORTHERN! I have a job up there already and free camping lined up. I'm quite excited about that. It's always good to have something to look forward to.

Well there's also the Corona faire next Sunday, which I am greatly looking forward to. That's a nice little faire. I also am hoping to scrounge together a peasant outfit for my guard. He has a jerkin, but needs everything else. I tried to be ambitious early in the year and make him a tunic, but I never got past buying the pattern and the fabric - and now I have no clue where that stuff is since 3/4ths of my life is in boxes. Grrr. Can't wait until I can unpack everything and am actually able to find stuff again. Soon soon.

You have no idea how wonderfully amazing you are. Just thought you should know.

So on Friday my guard's parents stated that I had been there too long and needed to get out. They were unwilling to let me stay even just long enough to finish my classes. This was to be expected, of course. So I started searching for rooms to rent, mainly with the idea that my guard and I could find a place willing to rent to a couple and make rent super cheap for both of us. We've done fine so far with us basically living out of just a room, so we know it's doable and that we won't kill each other in close quarters. So I found a few places and had started getting things lined up to go look at rooms. But then there was an interesting turn of events.

Yesterday was Mother's Day, and my guard didn't have anything for his mother. At ALL. So we went to Ralph's to pick up a plant and a card, and I jokingly told him to sign the card with my name also. And to my surprise, he actually DID IT!!! I cackled hysterically, because I figured his mother would find it totally not amusing or might even be pissed off about it. To our complete surprise, not only did she say NOTHING to either of us about the card, but she also came into the room today and offered to let me stay until the 28th if I helped organize the books in the library. Oh hellz yes. I love organizing books and such. But after the 28th I've got to be TOTALLY out of here, cats included. So now I'm thinking that looking for a cheap one bedroom might be feasible again with a bit more time to look available. And OMGZ his mom may actually still have a sliver of a heart left...though my best guess is that it was his dad that thought of the idea and convinced his mom to suggest it. Either way, I'm glad they're starting to come around at least a little bit.

**************************
Weekend news. Spent the majority of Saturday at Booth 1, I have a much more enjoyable time working with those people. Booth 2 was sad that I didn't show up - apparently I am their best seller though I have NO IDEA WHY!!! I've never done sales like this before, let alone clothing sales, yet apparently I'm good at it. It's not really something I enjoy though, I always feel like I'm pressuring people.

Saturday night was supposed to be the Guard Dinner, where all the people in the Yeomen of the Guard get all dressed up and go out to dinner together. Well, my guard started getting a dehydration headache at around 6, and by 7 he was throwing up. There was a lady and her husband who stayed and helped me take care of him. We tried to give him pain meds and put him in the car to take him home, but we didn't even get the car moving before he had to throw up again. There was no way we'd make it 40 minutes back to his parents without stopping on the freeway every 5 minutes (which would have been unbearably nerve-wracking for me, since just driving his car is a challenge in the first place), so I ended up getting a room at a crappy nearby hotel.

The hotel cracked me up. I called it the "one night stand" hotel, because it totally seemed like the place that a guy at a bar would take the drunk and horny girl he met that night. Anyway, my guard threw up again after getting inside the hotel room, and was asleep about 10 seconds after crawling into the bed. I felt bad that not only was he sick, but that of ALL NIGHTS, it was the night of the guard dinner that he got sick on. Bummer. I was excited about going also, but taking care of him was more important (though I did get the another guard guy to order me some food to go since I hadn't eaten since breakfast, which I picked up after I got my guard all settled in bed with a trash can by his side). And besides his muscles aching from being tensed up he's feeling better. We skipped faire Sunday so that he could sleep in and took it easy the rest of the afternoon at his parents house. I had planned on staying home Sunday anyway since I had a paper to write and other schoolwork to get done.

***************************

Speaking of school, only three more weeks and I'll have my Associates Degree!!!! I'm super excited.

***************************

I have two questions that I've been pondering lately. I may post these in thequestionclub, but I haven't decided yet.

1. If you're in a wedding party (groomsmen or bridesmaids), is it expected that you should have to rent your own tux/buy your own dress? Does it make a difference if it's a relatives wedding that you're in? What about if they have the wedding halfway across the country, should they buy the plane tickets for the wedding party or expect the party to pay for it on their own? Same question for hotel rooms. If you were the bride/groom and you KNEW that one of your groomsmen/bridesmaids was going through financial hardships, would you still expect them to fork out all this money (if you do expect them to pay for everything on their own)?

Here's the deal: my guard's brother is getting married. In New York. About 2 months ago, his brother found out that my guard may not make it to the wedding due to lack of funds to fly out there and get a room for the weekend. So his brother threw a fast one at him and said "oh well, I wanted you to be in the wedding party" in order to basically FORCE him to go to the wedding. And he now expects my guard to pay for tux rental ($117 dollars) on top of the hotel room ($200 dollars for 2 nights) and airfare ($375 dollars round trip). Seriously his brother, in my opinion, is the biggest douchebag alive. You know WHY? Because he KNOWS that my guard doesn't have that kind of money right now. And mostly because his bride to be recently won over $300,000 on a game show and got that money in January. So it's not like they don't have the money to help my guard out. Wouldn't you think that if you conveniently won that money just before your wedding that you'd put it to good use? I think it's pathetic that his brother is expecting him to fork out all this money for the wedding. His family really pisses me off at times, if you couldn't tell.

2. I have a punctuation question. I normally don't have problems with punctuation or grammar issues when writing papers, but I was unsure of this one. I looked it up in my handbook, and couldn't find a definitive answer in there either.
Here's the sentence: "Have you heard the sayings "It's what's on the insides that counts" and "Looks aren't everything"?
My punctuation question is: do the quoted statements need periods on the ends of them? I put them in and it didn't look right...so I think that the way I've written it is correct. If anyone knows for sure how the punctuation works in this sense please let me know.

************************

On a totally different note...the drunkard is going to Cairo, Egypt next week or so. Everyone who knows him should annoy him by saying "bring me back a pyramid". Apparently his brother and I both told him that. I also told him he should set his facebook status to say that he is in "Butt Fucking Egypt". Since, you know, he literally would be. :P

( Yoinked from jaligard, yet again. )

So my guard FINALLY got his computer back up and running. It only took 6 months and a new motherboard, processor, RAM, power supply, and video card. ONLY. Plus a new keyboard and mouse just for the hell of it. Anyway, this means I get to reap the benefits of the new computer in his room...and the fact that he has it hooked up to his plasma TV. That's right, 48" computer screen. WIN. I can lay in bed with the wireless keyboard and mouse and surf the net. It's AWESOME. Just what I need, easier computer access to aid my laziness.

The keyboard is totally sweet as well. It's a Logitech Wave Keyboard and it's super comfortable to use. It's all ergonomically correct and whatnot, which normally I hate keyboards like that - like the ones that split the keyboard in half. But this one isn't split, it just has the keys at different levels to fit the natural varying length of your fingers. I've never really had a preference for keyboards but I think that this one has totally won me over.

My guard and I also bought Mario Kart for the Wii last week. We bought two steering wheels and are greatly enjoying all the new tracks and the option to choose different vehicles. Plus the bonuses from drifting make the tracks harder or easier depending on what vehicle you're using, so all around the game is definitely freaking cool and a ton of fun.

One last nerdgasm for the day. I picked up 10 or so D&D miniatures online last week to add to my guard's collection. I've become addicted to ebay again...this can't be a good sign. But the one thing I haven't won a bid on yet is the GELATINOUS CUBE!!! There are 5 or so up on ebay right now and I'm watching them all. I MUST HAVE THE CUBE OF DOOM!!!! Yes, I know, I'm a dork. Thank you for noticing.

In non-geek related news, there's no update on the living situation or job situation. Still homeless, having well worn out my welcome staying at my guard's parents. Still jobless, though I'm applying at a nearby restaurant and also at Torrid as an Assistant Manager.

( And a final thing I just need to get off my chest. Mini-rant, read at your own discretion. )

Well that's about everything for now. Time to go drop off some applications and meet my guard for lunch.

Well, fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck.

Guess where I am right now? At my guards parents house. In his sisters old room. On a twin bed. Surrounded by creepy stuffed animals on shelves all around the room.

The nanny thing isn't happening. It was a misunderstanding that the family took WAY out of proportion, and ended up with me now being homeless. Long story short (trust me, this is the shortened version), I was going to drop off a few things at their house Monday. Talked with the mother at 7ish, told her that we'd be leaving in the next hour or so to head over to the storage unit to drop stuff off, and then over to their place to drop off my futon and other important things. Called back at 10ish to say that we were running a bit later than expected but were leaving the storage unit at that time and heading up to drop stuff off. She blindsided me by stating that she didn't understand why I didn't call and thought I said I'd be over in an hour (when we talked on the phone at 7). Then she states that she and her husband talked about it and they're worried about the situation because of this incident. Apparently, according to them, getting caught up and losing track of time when leisurely moving means that I have no responsibility and would forget to do important things when dealing with their children. So they told me that they had to "pass" on having me move in. LOVELY. I wasn't even supposed to start working for them until the end of the week, so it's not like I was required to be there, nor had I set up a specific time that I would be stopping by. I was just putting things in the garage, I didn't realize that this was some sort of "test" as to my ability to be on time. Which shouldn't even be an excuse, because I was on time (early, in fact) when I initially met them, and when my guard and I went there for dinner last Friday. There were no other reasons given for "passing" on me, and from everything said in our email exchange, it seemed up until this incident that the whole family liked me a lot and was really looking forward to me moving in.

I've had some time to think about the situation now and I am thinking things with this family happened for the best. My initial reaction was a mixture of being confused, frustrated, and worried with a general WTF? expression on my face. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that they are the ones completely overreacting and losing out with their decision, and it was better to find out about these people and their behaviors before I had moved in.

I can rationalize that situation just fine. Finding a place to live out here is the only real issue right now. I have one lead so far, but it's only a potential. Nothing guaranteed. At the rate this is going, I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to make it out here.